Mberengwa man narrowly escapes death during threesome
In what some have described as the Wrestlemania of all sexual encounters a sex-preneur who hails from Binga but trades her inner thigh peripheral in Mberengwa recently ravaged 2 men who had hired her for a threesome until one of them collapsed and had to be revived using buckets of cold water.
It is said that Taliwe Tembo (age unknown) who has gained popularity around the Mberengwa Vanguard area as a very “sweet” thigh vendor was approached by two artisanal miners commonly called makorokoza who had struck gold and were now looking for a sexual tunnel to have a dig at instead of their usual tunnels for gold. The two Bekithemba Nkiwane (32) and one only identified as Razor negotiated for a threesome and successfully engaged Taliwe’s services for the night.
The match was on as both men took turns to huff and puff on top of Taliwe like two overfed and sexually starved horny rabbits. Taliwe is said to be quite agile and extremely talented at the mating game that she can make a grown man wail and moan loudly, some say she is some kind of sex mermaid nurtured in the murky waters of the Zambezi River – whether that’s true or not is a story for another day. To make matters worse the two gold-mongers had earlier on during the day consumed lots of the herbal sexual concoction known as guchu in vernacular hoping to give Taliwe the time of her life. Little did they know that they would be the ones getting a “good size”.
One hour into their tryst Razor suddenly started shivering whilst Taliwe was busy throwing him up and down with her curvaceous waist (kupepeta) and in no time he started rolling his eyes and then collapsed on the bed while sweating profusely. The strong mukorokoza had clearly been outsexed and given a sexual choke slam reminiscent of what The Undertaker used to do to his opponents back in the day. If it was in boxing terms then it would be said that Razor lost by a knockout rendered to him by one ultra-sweet prostitute.
He later came back to life after lots of water was poured on him and when he regained his composure he swore that he would never buy Taliwe’s honeypot again as it was too sweet and would kill him – talk of sexual diabetes. His partner in crime Bekithemba was overheard saying, “Vakomana joki iri kuuraya munhu ahh. Handisati ndamboona zvakadaro shuwa *** kuita kudzipa sikarudzi yangu kunge ichaputika kudaro. Apo ioven zvayo mukati moto wese ndomauri Razor haaitadza kufendeswa nayo”. Whilst we have a strong penchant for the bizarre and ridiculously funny my editor has strongly advised me to reserve my comments.
Meanwhile all roads lead to Mberengwa Vanguard as many men out go in search of gold but just not the kind of gold that can be sold for money. I will be returning there also to do a follow up story very soon.
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